Tag: relationship

Not everyone is toxic in a relationship. There are good people who strongly hold a relationship with ethics, values and pure love.
They maturely handle fights and arguments without making the other person feel insignificant, worthless or extremely sad.
These types of people are very considerate in relationships. Let’s have a look at some of the things that good men never do in relationships!

1. He will never comment on your looks
A good man will never pick apart your looks. He will never pull down your self-esteem by saying mean comments. He will only encourage you to accept yourself and be a confident and unapologetic person.

2. He will never invade your privacy
He will never try to cross boundaries and sneak into your private space. He will give you ample time and space. You will notice that he will never glance into your phone, or read your texts or messages. This means he doesn’t feel threatened about you needing your own space.

3. He will never discourage you
A good man will never discourage you from doing something that you really want. They may not support your decision but they will surely respect it. You will never feel discouraged from his side but there will only be words of motivation and encouragement from him.

4, He won’t make you prove your value to him
A good man will know how much you are worth. You won’t feel the need to prove your worth to him because he will value and appreciate you for who you are. The minute you feel you need to prove yourself to him, you should know when to walk away.

5. He will never make you feel like a second option
A good man will never make you feel secondary in a relationship. He will prioritise you the right way and give you importance. He will tend to your needs and wants without you ever feeling insignificant.

6. He will never avoid important discussions
He will never try to dodge or avoid important questions revolving around your relationship. He will always be up for necessary conversations because he will understand the importance of getting a problem between you both resolved.

In other news – Moshe Ndiki’s son graduate

TV host and entrepreneur Moshe Ndiki is a proud dad after his son graduated from pre-school.
Moshe took to his Instagram account to share the exciting news, and publicly congratulated him. Learn more

‘I was with my friends, hence couldn’t call back’. ‘I am over my ex’. ‘You’re just overthinking, I am not hiding anything from you’.

If your relationship is all about your partner trying to justify him or herself while you know the truth completely, there are chances that it’s time for you to move out.

Any lie, big or small, is a big no for a healthy and trustworthy relationship. So, if you find your partner lying for these 4 things, it might not just be mere lies but a red flag of a non-serious relationship.

1. They lie about who they hang out with
Transparency and communication with your partner are the foundations of a strong relationship. So, if you find your partner lying about who they hang out with or who they talk to, there’s something wrong. This might not necessarily mean they are cheating on you, or maybe it does, this is definitely a red signal that you should never ignore. Confront them about it, if you don’t get an honest and truthful answer, it’s time for you to understand that your relationship has become a victim of lies and betrayal.

2. They hide their money matters
While choosing to keep one’s money matters private is one’s calling, however, hiding it from your partner signals something serious. If your partner isn’t open about his or her financial matters with you, ask them for the reason behind it, or simply tell them that hiding things won’t do any good to them or your relationship, no matter how good intent they had behind it. If there’s no clarity still, confront them and make a decision.

3. They lie about getting over their ex
If your partner lies about getting over their ex and are still in touch with him or her, or secretly thinks about them, it’s another red sign to look out for. Past relationships are meant to be kept in the past, but if your partner is not getting over their ex, this might signify that they aren’t meant to be with you. Discuss the matter with them, and if all you get for an answer is a lie, you may need to move out for your better.

4. They lie about their personal or professional life
If you find your partner lying about their personal or professional life to you, never ignore this sign. It may signal something serious and you may even get in trouble in the future. Hence, always make sure your partner is crystal clear about his or her life with you. Ask them about their family, profession, and aspirations. Remember, a slight lie about any aspect of their life may get you in serious trouble.

Source:fakazanews

In my experience, we all get better at being in relationships over time. It’s a learned skill. We aren’t all born with the perfect ability to balance and maintain a healthy relationship.

Hindsight is 20/20, though. As soon as you’re out of the relationship, you’ll suddenly see all the issues you had, and for lots of people in first-time relationships, putting your partner’s needs above your own is a big issue.

Here’s how to avoid doing that in the future.

1. BEING A PEOPLE-PLEASER ISN’T HELPFUL

Most people need a person in their life that they can be honest and share their soul with. However, you don’t want a yes-man in a relationship. The honesty you want from a partner is what you should give in return. They need someone to tell them when they have spinach in their teeth, that their shirt is on backward, or that their hat is ugly. People think that the only way to meet your partner’s needs is to be a people-pleaser, but that isn’t the same thing. In order to have a fulfilling relationship, you need to both make mistakes and grow together. If one of you is always protecting the other and defending them from change or influencing their behaviors, then they will stay the same. It’s well-meaning, but it isn’t helpful.

2. YOU’LL WEAR YOURSELF DOWN

Trying to anticipate and meet a person’s every need is hard enough as it is. However, when you combine that with an inability to meet your own needs because you’ve elevated those of another person above yours, that’s tough. You can’t sustain that. It’s isn’t a relationship – it starts to become a chore.

3. YOU START TO RESENT THEM

It’s not their fault either. They didn’t ask for you to put their needs above their own. Well, if they did, they’re trash, but that’s a different matter altogether. Your body soon begins to realize that the reason it’s tired all the time is your partner. However, your partner should be a source of joy, not tedium. You should want to help and support them, but if you become their servant, then it’s no longer an act of love and a pleasant surprise when you look after them. Small gestures are expected, but servitude changes the dynamic, and then your partner comes to expect that level of support, and neither of you is independent anymore.

4. YOU FORGET WHAT YOUR VERSION OF SELF-CARE IS

Sometimes you spend so long with a person that you become like them. We all have a bit of chameleon in us. That’s why we like our partners, after all – we think they’re cool. However, when you adopt all their habits and opinions, you might risk forgetting what you enjoy. The ways that you pass time. Don’t tend to their feelings so much that you neglect your own.

5. YOU BECOME THEM

No. I know that we’re all a collage of the people we’ve met – but that’s more subtle. It’s a compliment, and it’s natural. However, when you start dressing the same, cutting your hair together, and aligning your lives so intimately, even though your needs aren’t being met, it’s a gesture of intimacy that doesn’t ring quite true. Part of being in a relationship is valuing your differences and appreciating each other, not just keeping your personality under lock and key because you’re secretly afraid it might not be good enough.

6. RECLAIM YOUR LIFE

As a solution, try to reclaim what is yours – you will find that your partner is only too eager to get to know you. It introduces a little spark to the relationship. You won’t find love by obsessing over a person and failing to give them anything to love.

7. VALUE YOUR OWN TIME

Don’t drop everything you’re doing just because your partner has a small issue. Know when action is required and when they’re just venting. A lot of the time we just want to complain without being held accountable. Don’t be that person that always wants to fix everything and stops making people feel like they can just meaninglessly vent to you without getting the pitchforks out.

8. FIND A NEW HOBBY

Rediscover your old ones. Take up a new course – drag a friend to it, or your partner. They will love seeing this new and old side of you emerge.

Putting people’s needs above your own isn’t inherently a bad trait. I know it sounds like I’m banging on about it, but don’t worry. It’s just that it conceals lots of other behaviors which actually compromise your quality of life. Value your own needs in a relationship, people!

source:fakazanews